Nemesis Mushroom

An orange capped mushroom with white speckles

I don’t know what kind of mushroom this is, but it looks like a sesame seed bun. I found it at the post office, and I wasn’t tempted in any way to eat it because mushrooms are gross. They all have that same slimy texture, and they hide frightening gills under the caps. Most if not all varieties of mushroom will shut down your liver or instantly kill you. On your dead body, mushrooms will shower enzymes upon you, and in a micro storm of death and decay, they will eat you too. Please don’t ever eat them, and whenever possible, avoid thinking about them.