Dear Marc,

This is future you. I can't get into the specifics about how I'm writing to you from the future. I was forced to reduce this message to a single piece of paper. I'll waste no more space explaining the process. My message to you is this: you need to take specific steps to avoid an atrocious future.

I bet you're skeptical of this letter. That's a healthy reaction for an eleven year old. I'll prove that I'm you, at least. I know you don't sleep most nights. You lie awake and watch the shadows of your window blinds on the ceiling as cars pass by. You lie there and think only about Allison Hall, for whom you harbor an intimate crush. You haven't told anyone about these feelings. You never will.

Do you believe me now? I hope so. Here is your life as it unfolded in this dark reality: You're a smart kid, and you grow much smarter as the years pass. You study hard in high school, and you attend a decent college where you major in economics. You go on to law school, teach for a few years, hold office in state government, and so on. Long story short, you become president of this great nation. Congratulations. Unfortunately, the job is not as much fun as you hoped. You work all the time, and no one's happy with the decisions you make. You're constantly being yelled at by senators, and you get the same treatment from strangers on the street when you go for a jog. Nothing you do seems to please the media. Last week you scratched your nose, but from the angle of one photographer, it looked like you were picking it. Now that picture's on t-shirts. Someone threw a cabbage at you during one of your speeches a couple weeks ago. He said he was protesting the farm subsidies you promised in campaign speeches but failed to deliver. You don't remember saying anything about that. It's all incredibly frustrating. At night, you lie awake in your ornately furnished bedroom, looking up to the ceiling and wondering where exactly you went wrong.

All is lost for me here, but not for you. This is what I need you to do: Put down your books, and turn on the television. Really appreciate the greasiness in a bag of barbeque potato chips. Hang out at the mall and shoplift as much as you can. Try to get a girl pregnant as soon as possible. Smoke marijuana on the roof of the police station. Get really drunk before you take the PSAT. Do all these things because you're not perfect. You're just a normal person who makes normal mistakes. Mistakes that aren't broadcast in continuous loop on 24 hour news channels.

Sincerely

Marcus Pak - July 11, 2021

P.S. My son's eleven and he stinks. If you haven't already, you really should start taking a shower every day.